Middle Grey

Life is never easy, we knew it
and when choices are right in front of you
you pick according to your passion
and which offers you the best out of them

It's too easy to get stuck in the middle of choosing one of them to be your fixed path
especially when you are getting older and older each day
because you can never afford any failure as before
it's like whether you wanna choose white or black
and it always ends up by choosing middle grey

I am not sure this is my best choice
future wise, it offers something really helpful for my future
income wise, it's the best offer in the market for my qualification
everything will be fine, and it seems great
provided i am happy with it
and get through all the hardest things to learn

i was very confused
since the field isn't the thing i am good in
for the past 20 years i have been doing everything related to art
something that ordinary people think is hard,but i feel so comfortable and responsive with it
but something that most of the people good in, is actually super hyper tough for me

It may, due to the lack of the related experience
making me to feel so hard to get all these through
It may also be the lack of passion and knowledge

For times at work
I felt i wanted to give up
It's totally not me
I didn't get it
I didn't feel any little excitement or enjoyment to deal with it
but i have just started!!!

People who feel that i am always changing
never understand that
to me, i gotta escape before it's too late
they told me that i am no longer a 20 yo young boy who deserves the try
but to me
since i am no longer young
every mistake must be corrected fast

My first working day wasn't great
colleagues are friendly and kind
but they were too busy for me to ask them anything which needs much explanation
Please do not expect me to ask things in short
I am totally new in this industry
I couldn't understand the procedures
I never dealt with these documents
and i have no idea what to proceed

The allocation to Penang branch today is something to heal the spots a bit
These people are amazingly fast in response
and they stand really strong to procedures
they don't mind to scold and blame the sales persons
I felt myself totally useless in the company while everyone is busy
like a 24-hour operating machine

My manager saved me
he had been training me from 9am until 5pm,before releasing me home
Thanks manager for telling me so much
from creating customer's profile and booking procedures
to invoicing, and something not related to me
at least not for the first year of working
Thanks for the expensive lunch=)

I need more of these for the following weeks
until one day
when i can handle something well...
thanks for coming to me at the right time
it saved me from being useless and knowledge-less

The confidence is something crucial for me to rebuild my interest to know more
thanks for understanding the feeling of a new staff
I respect all of the working staffs in the company
because they survived under great influences
from left to right
from up to down

For times
i believe that we will only outperform ourselves at work
when we really like what we are doing
and we knew what to do

this remains my belief for my career or job

One golden chance is there for me
i hope i have the chance to grab it
and i know i will be good
and i will love it
with 100% of my heart...

Wish me luck!